So this morning I did something I was afraid to do. I announced that I will be releasing an EP. Yea I know, “Isn’t that what artists are supposed to do?” you may ask. To be fair yes. So what’s the big deal you ask? ….well lets just have a moment of honesty shall we? ……RECORDING SCARES ME!!! *Hahaha* There are so many things that I know don’t matter but still come to mind. Fear can creep its way into ANYTHING these days. Its like a disease. the longer you don’t take care of it, the more it will take over.
To my disadvantage a big part of participating in the music industry is confidence. “Yea I got what it takes” & “I’m the best-a-the-best” are some attitudes that many labels and producers are looking for, along with ACTUAL talent of course. Combine the two and you really have a force to be reckoned with. This may come as new info to you but I am not exactly the most desperately cocky musician out there. I do believe in myself but I tend to focus on my limitations; a habit in which I am trying so hard to stop exercising. I am brave when I have to be, but this is one of those moments in life when your conscience tends to remind you, “You know you really don’t HAVE to do this”. But if there is anything I have found out in the first 5 months of doing this, it’s that great things can come from small beginnings. The first step to having success in ANYTHING is to try. And sometimes the only way to try is to be brave. So with my dear readers as my witnesses, in the hope that you might keep me accountable, I am picking up my sword and shield. I have never been ready to take on the giant….
Be careful what you wish for because you might end up getting it. 5 months ago when I decided to baton down the hatches and open a Facebook for Discovering Dimes, (A moment of which I had been terrified) I have to be honest, I really didn’t know what to expect. I discovered REALLY quickly that my insecurities were more than clear. Would anyone even care that I’m doing this? How stupid does it look when a guy my age throws caution to the wind in front of everyone? Is this going to make me or break me… or both? Today I noticed that Discovering Dimes hit 750 “likes”. My first thought was that I cant believe that Facebook “likes” are ACTUALLY a means by which so many measure success in our world today. *Rolls eyes* But my second though hit me a bit harder. In the light of what I considered to be a moment of accomplishment, I remembered every time I have felt the bitter taste failure in this adventure… I recently got to share “Discovering Dimes” in front of 100 people. Not in any way an indicator that I have “arrived” (far from it actually) but something I was proud of non-the-less considering this is a four month old project. I just couldn’t avoid the thought of another night in which no one bothered to show up… We all have an idea in our heads in regards to what it would be like to begin the pursuit of a dream. But what it feels like to actually do it is a completely different reality. This journey has been almost nothing like I expected; In a some bad ways, but also some good ways. I speculate that when my heroes first set their sails, they knew that the journey would be a lot of hard work. And I’m fine with that. I think most of us are. What I struggle to grasp is how they learned to deal with the battle inside. How can you be so certain that what you’re doing isn’t a complete waste of time? How can you believe for success after failure? How can you accept that cutting your losses is sometimes the only way? How do you tell your heart “go” when your head screams “give up”? I think the answer is, you just have to.
I doubt anyone has ever made their dreams come true being half courageous, half determined, or half-hearted. In my endeavor I have learned to decide for myself that the present has very little to do with the future. Winston Churchill said it best when he said: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Just because you have seen success, means nothing. It can be gone in an instant. Its happened to all of us. I know, inspiring right? lol But adversely the inspiring part comes after that; “Failure is not fatal”. I believe that failure does nothing but bring you a choice; Lay down and die, or get up and live to see another day. You want to focus on that part but I have to say, You really cant have one without the other. They are both going to happen. All of that to say that learning to see failure and success through the same eyes has been a huge step forward for me. If you want to be a success you have got to make a choice WHEN ANYTHING HAPPENS to die quietly or keep breathing… Let us all decide to choose the later.